Investigation 1.33333333: The Big Blue Monster

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Investigation 1.33333333: The Big Blue Monster

Postby Jaeger » Thu Apr 01, 2010 6:32 am

A few moments later...

William and Maxine come sputtering and screaming out of the water. They wave their hands frantically and stutter out an ominous warning....

"It's coming! It's after us! There's a giant ravenous monster chasing us!"

The Fringe Knowledge investigators barely have a moment to comprehend this ominous message when the water explodes behind William and Maxine, and a giant clawed hand bursts forth... dragging the lumbering, hulking thing up from the watery depths... and in a deep, gravelly voice it challenges you!

"GRRRAA!!! Little people come to my cave... no have cookie?!? Me eat you!!!"

((Full combat round... vs. THE COOKIE MONSTER! Happy April Fool's Day, BTS! Here's your chance to fight a truly fantastical monster! P.S.: This portion has been separated from the regular thread for the sole purpose of RIDICULOUS FUN! The more ridiculous but in character your post, the better the rewards!))

Re: Investigation 1.33333333: The Big Blue Monster

Postby Jake Mullen » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:01 am

Perception: -1/0 (47 for signs)
Initiative: “Let your plans be dark and as impenetratable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” Sun Tzu

Action 1: Elucidate the virtues of planning and forethought, consider the nature of the universe, Film Noir pose
Action 2: Draw upon the the imaginary tarot, stare at the card for several seconds
Action 3: Despair
Action 4: :idea: , pull out pocket can of mace, explain its purpose to the cookie monster, allow him to borrow it

Dodges: ARE USELESS!!!

Jake stares at the horror that has just erupted from the clear water, several feet from him, and draws upon his years of experience to construct a plan. "Deci! The Pot Brownies! Quickly, we must drug and capture him for sale to PBS!"

He pulls himself from the pond, stands and draws a cigarette and lighter from their plastic bag, and slowly lights the cigarette and takes a puff. So this was Black Hand's purpose . . . such is the horror of the Universe.

He puts the lighter away and puts his right hand out before him, palm up. I must draw the tarot and divine the outcome of this battle! Astrology 33/40% Success. He stares at it, hard, and reaches out with his left hand to draw the top card from the imaginary tarot deck sitting, imaginarily, on his right palm. Slowly, with a shaking hand, he draws the imaginary card up before his face, closing his eyes till the last moment. He opens his eyes in a flash and looks at the card that isn't there.


He crumples to his knees, his cigarette hanging from his lip in a particularly depressing way. "And so it ends . . . Wait! An idea!"

He quickly draws his hand through his hair, Wardobe and Grooming 59/64% Success, rendering it immaculately feathered in the fashion of the early 80s. He pulls his small can of mace from his pocket, and holds up his empty hand, palm out, to the Cookie Monster. "Hold Monster! It is true that we do not have cookies. BUT! We have the next best thing! This, my dear friend, is cookie flavored spray. It is made with real cookie crumbs to give your breath that just out of the oven freshness." Trust 77/55% Failure. Public Speaking 98/45% Failure, Sneaky Plans 24/00% Successful Failure"With this, my friend, you can not only eat cookies, you can breath them too!"

As he attempts to sucker the monster, he mutters out of the corner of his mouth to Alistair, "Quick, Alistair, get some rope, or a net or something!"
Jake Mullen

Re: Investigation 1.33333333: The Big Blue Monster

Postby William » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:04 am

Perception: 4+4=8
JIC: 11, 75%

Holding Mesi Irisi above his head in both hand, looking towards the sky, William chants, "I am William. Prince of Beverly HIlls and keeper of the secrets of Castle Townsend. This is Thomas... my skeptical friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic dagger and said... By the power of Mesi Irisi!"
Suddenly William is transformed into a herculean blond haired man, wearing only a battle harness across his chest and a loin cloth.


Now gripping the dagger in both hands, one on the hilt and one on the blade, William feels the power surge through him. "I have the Power!" Pointing the blade towards Thomas, the dagger expels more magical energy that engulfs the skeptic. William continues his chant, "Thomas became the Mighty Battle Lord, and I became He-Man the most powerful man in the universe. Together we defend Castle Townsend from the evil forces of The Cookie Monster!"

His battle ritual completed, He-Man fearlessly rushes the cookie monster, only to be lassoed by Wonder Woman! He attempts to parry the lasso, otherwise he will slice through it with is magic dagger."Your lasso is no match for my immense powers, woman! Jake! We have a traitor in our midst! Unhand me, foul wench! Can you not see that the evil forces of the Cookie Monster will most certainly lead to a childhood obesity problem for generations to come? Unhand me I say!"

Initiative: 11
APM: 4

Action 1: Transform himself into He-Man
Action 2: Transform Thomas into the Battle Lord, and believer of all.
Action 3: Escape Wonder Woman's magic lasso, by slicing through it with Mesi Irisi. Strike/Parry: 19, Damage: 11 (if a strike)
Action 4: Attempt to sever those beady eyes from Cookie Monster's bloated head. Strike: 1 (nat :roll: ) Damage: 15

Dodges: Not necessary for one of my stature.
Last edited by William on Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:17 am, edited 2 times in total.

Re: Investigation 1.33333333: The Big Blue Monster

Postby December » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:38 am

Perception - 12
Jic (D20) - 11
Jic (Percentage) - 56%

Normal Combat

Deci seeing the others move to attack the blue god from the great beyond intercedes to block them. "Can you not all see this is the god from the great beyond. We should not be attacking it but worshipping him. Can you not see the wisdom behind those eyes."

She jumps in front of the other investigators and spins around rapidly finishing off in the form of Wonder Woman before throwing a lasso over He-man. She then goes through the speech of a new Amazon tribe led by the superior gods of Sesame Street.

"Denizens of the investigation group. Can you not see that these beings are superior to us in way with there big eyes and puppet like movements and some even having a penchant for cookies, hence forth to be referred to as the food of the gods. We must not strike them down but worship them. They will lead us to form a new tribe of Amazonia where we can worship them in peace and squash all the non-believers. So it is written in the great bible of Sesamia. I will accept the roles as they will me to take as should you too. Thomas and William. Can you see it is fruitless to rise up and battle. Now speak yee the truth as bade by my golden licorice rope!"

Initiative - 20
APM - 4

Action 1: Spins around turning into Wonder woman
Action 2: Lasso's on He-man - Strike - (04+01+2010 - I mean come on it is wonderwoman)=2015
Action 3: Start praddling off the superiority of a new Amazon led by the gods of Sesame Street
Action 4: Continue rant.

Re: Investigation 1.33333333: The Big Blue Monster

Postby Maxine Hardcore » Thu Apr 01, 2010 12:55 pm

Perception: YES!
JiC: Always
Initiative: Infinite

As Maxine flees she thinks

Oh my, not even super heroes can protect us. However, perhaps the inner power of my subconscious can bring us victory. Yes within me lies the one being that can resolve this situation.

Action #1:

Calm washes over Maxine as she concentrates slightly and calls forward the one being capable of resolving the situation. Appearing with a mumble of " Orf De Dorf! "


Carrying an endless tray of cookies, the giant swedish chef stands ready to feed the monster.

" Please mighty blue one " says Maxine " Allow us to trade you these freshly prepared cookies for the treasures you guard. What is gold, silver, and objects of arcane might compared to the infinite splender of sugar and chocolate? "

Other Actions

If it does not work Maxine take advantage of the distraction to reach into her pocket for a talisman blessed by Ozzie Osborne himself. Wielding the might of metal she will expend it to curse Cookie Monster forever into a politically correct safe eating junkie, doomed to forever sing "A cookie is a sometime food" and binge only on carrots and celery sticks. A true act of dark magic coming from "The Prince Of Darkness" himself this might very well taint her soul forever (shattering the souls of children who will never experience the monster's antics properly) but at least it should save us all.... despite the terrible price.
Last edited by Maxine Hardcore on Thu Apr 01, 2010 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Maxine Hardcore

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